What is Human?
by TheToxicFlavouredCandy
Summary: What is being human really? who are we to say that three entities of "inhuman" stature cannot dictate their own opinions of Humanity? This a character study of our three and their views on Humanity.
1. Aiden's Humanity

Disclaimer: I do not own Being Human, or any of its characters, I own write about them from a personal perspective and in no way gain contribution.

Authors note: I have been under a rough bout of Writers Block, so I have decided to do a character study on our favorite three from the North American's Being Human. This a quick study of each in there own eyes, how they perceive, or not perceive, their own humanity.

**What is human?**

_Aiden POV:_

Listless and without control, I've worked so hard to get to this point, to be better then I was, to know my grounds and be proud of them. But the past will always haunt me, bring me back to how I was, and make me loath with all my being. The things I've done, the people I've hurt, it will always find a way back to me. I can't escape, I can't hide from it, all I can do is pray for forgiveness I know I will never acquire, hope that I can overcome this thing, this monster.

Then I see him, I remember this isn't all of who I am, I see what I can try to be, not always absolute, but it's the best I am. The best I can be, I carry this with me, hold it close. Smile when appropriate, laugh when joking, and give up when defeated. I get lost in what I have constructed for myself form an affinity with it, but I will never be completely free.

I see the life, and feel its overwhelming power on me; I see the slender neck as she laughs appropriately at my antic, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear exposing herself to me in a way that seems almost on purpose. I lose concentration of her banter, I find myself wanting, needing to be closer. I smile when she blushes nervously, smelling her blood rise to the surface.

She asks me to walk her home, against my better judgment I say yes knowing I have other intentions. The brisk cold stifles my hunger if only for the moment till she asks to take a secluded path down an ally I know all to well. I slow, as does she, making it clear that she is into me. I hold my breath unknowingly as she leans in for a kiss, taking the last of my control with her lips. I feel her pulse below her soft ruby lips, it drummed against my own singing a rhythm of lust.

I hold her close, leaning down to her nape; I close my eyes as fangs slide down from my gums, and the need so strong I whimper slightly. I smell the wine before tasting it, tension building as I ease my fangs into her neck, not wanting to be sudden, but a slow creature-attacking unknown in the night. At first she fights, bewildered by my sudden change, but she slowly gives in to death, knowing it will all be over soon. But my beast wants more then just her life, it wants her fear, to fear my being, my inhumanness, for her to know.

I withdraw; slowly leading her to the ground, looking into her half dead eyes that battled to stay alive and open. She panicked at the sight of my fangs dripping with her blood, she knew now, and she feared me, that was all it took to satisfy the creature.

"I am death" it spoke from my lips, farther causing her dismay.

"I am death, and you shall fear me. I am superior, unearthly, God like. You are nothing."

I fear my own words, I was no longer in control, I lost that long ago. Here spoke the thing within me, part of me, but not quite the same. I felt the animosity, yearning, and demand to continue, so I gave in. I fed more intently, letting go completely, emerged in her flesh. Her life drained away, nothing left but a shell of her former self. I let the body go, staring in her lifeless eyes.

I am ashamed I have done it again; it never should have led to this. I have brought this darkness back into my dead essence, there is nothing left of me. Until I see him, he knows my curse, this dread and pain I have to carry with me. He feels for me, helps me through. He is the one true person who will always believe in me, no matter how far from human I have become.

Being Human is not live with a heartbeat, eating thanksgiving dinner with your parents, or celebrating your birthday. It is not paying your taxes, partying with friends, or going to church. It is loving, living your life to it's fullest, finding your purpose, being with people who understand you for you, who you can be yourself around. It's not about being human; it's about being you to your absolute best, and nothing more.

**End**

Authors Note: This is the first installment, I plan on doing two more, one of Josh, and the last of Sally. I don't do character studies very often, so I hope the serves the characters well.


	2. Josh's lack of Humanity

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Disclaimer: I do not own Being Human, or any of its characters; I own writings about them from a personal perspective and in no way gain contribution.

Authors note: This is my second installment to my three-part Writers Block. I am doing a character study of our three from North America's Being Human, Aiden, Josh, and Sally. How do they view humanity? Well this is what I wrote.

**What is Human?**

_Josh POV:_

Some days I can't remember who I am, like life has taken a vice grip to my juggler not allowing blood to my memories. One day I am Josh, unkempt and slightly neurotic. Coasting day to day nervous about each step I take, thinking about home. The next I'm a cruel twist of fate haphazardly digging knives into my brain, causing me more pain then any man could stand to bear, emotionally ripping into the fragile remainders of my soul. I am a thing, something feared by women and children; something hunted by towns' men and burned to death. I am something even I had never fathomed, I am scared of my own existence.

I fear the light that instills a scared child like nature to my domineer, making me curl into ball and wish it away. I hate they way it's ruined my life, taken it from me. Stolen my family, killed any chance of future I may have had. It's stuck me in a hole, ripping at my sanity, tearing at my mental bonds with pure hate and blood rage.

It makes me scream in agony as my skin is boiled alive, my bones are broken rearranged and unbroken, how each pain is more intense and unbearable then the last. I feel the tiny molecules of hair raise to the surface of my skin, each a regret of my life, of my reality, of the things I have done. I collapse to the floor, unable to continue screaming as my thoughts dance to her, who I loved and cared for, a scratched sound of panic and terror escape my swollen esophagus. I let them all down, and this is my price, my torment that will follow me forever more. My legs numb at the snap of my spine, temporarily disabling the use of my lower half, this is something I cannot bare. Being useless, a waste, I should have died, but here I am in all my unwanted glory, a beast.

What scares me the most is when it's over, a fog rolls over my mind, blocking me from controlling myself, remembering, stopping. I am trapped within myself, unable to escape and the monster that was once me runs rampant in the forest, killing, feeding. It lived for this, loved it, the freedom, the blood and carnage. But when I am just Josh, and not the wolf, it still speaks, figuratively, making itself known. It twists everyday life, making everything difficult.

I see my sister, long to hold her in my arms, but all the wolf thinks is blood, death, food. It scares me more then anything. She was more then half way down the 250 meter long hallway. I smelt her before I'd seen her, she smelled of honey and rain, just as always. It was sweet to me, made me wish I could hold her again, tell her everything was okay, give her reassurance. But the wolf, it wanted to taste her, rip her to shreds and sleep in her flesh.

I am not human, I haven't been for almost over two years now. I am my own worst fear, a beast. I can't stand the sight of myself. My whole life is a lie, but it has to be, no one can never know that it takes a great deal of concentration to act moderately happy, I have to remember to be civil with other people I interact with. I disgust myself with everything I have created just so I can pretend to be human.

You cannot be human if you have to pretend to breath, or strive to make a paper move, or if the sight of blood makes you drool, or if once a month you turn into a monster that eats anything living. I cannot be human when I fear an orb in the sky, when red meat makes me crazy, or when I have to be careful not to kill people. Humanity was never saved for monsters, beating heart or not, I am a damned being of nothingness that can never know a true life, that will never have happiness again, and I will never have a family. My life and humanity ended when that monster was born.

**End**

Authors Note: Okay just for the record, oh my gosh, pissed at the laptop I've been using, it kept dying on me so I've had to rewrite the end at lest three times, and it was never quite how I had liked it the first time. But here it is the second part finished. Only one part left and that's Sally. I got some really good feedback from the first one so I'm looking forwards to hearing from everyone.

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	3. Sally's lost Humanity

Disclaimer: I do not own Being Human, or any of its characters; I own writings about them from a personal perspective and in no way gain contribution.

Authors note: This is the third and final part of my story study. I am very happy with how the last two chapters went, and I'm very glad to hear the feedback. I find I really enjoy writing for Being Human US, so if anyone would like to hear more from me, any and all ideas will be great. Here is Sally's part, She was a bit more complicated to write, but I'm happy with it all the same. And this chapter is slightly shorter then the other two, but I think Sally doesn't have as much to say abut humanity as Josh and Aiden.

**What is Human? **

_Sally POV:_

Life can be complicated, no my life is over. Death can be complicated, even for someone like me. Morose and never changing, day-to-day trying to speak, to touch, they can't see me though. I sometimes wonder if I am even real, if I am even something. The quietness that threatens to swallow me the second I stop hoping, stop trying, it frightens me to the bone. A chill that isn't there wraps itself around my mind, crushing my memories trying to suck me dry of everything I was. It's like an invisible veil is in front of me, blocking me from everyone else.

The he comes in, sad a desolate, I beg myself to touch him. I reach out to him; just to hold him, let him know I am still here. My fingers pass through him and I fear I will never have him again. All the memories we shared, gone and no more will be made. The darkness that threatens to consume me is frightening. Being alone with no one to hear me as I scream for some sort of reassurance that I am actually still here and not a nothingness floating around the world as it moves before me, without me.

I never really feared death, and now that it has come, all I can say is I fear is this emptiness, the dreading thought that I will have to stay here forever with no one and nothing. That all I will have is myself to keep me company as I watch the world change around me, all the ones I loved grow old and die as I stay here, unchanged by the threads of time. An entity, a ghost, something made of nothing that children fear.

But then they come, and they can see me, hear me. At first I feel as if nothing ever happened, as if I am still alive, but then it happens. I reach out to console them as they go through the hell life has dealt them, and as I pass through them I remember that I am still nothing, but they, they have something tangible, a life, something to look forwards to. Love and family, a future, even if they don't see it, it is still there laid out before them readily in their grasp.

And then I learn, I learn the truth of it all, why I am here, how it came to be. He, him, the one I loved, the one I thought loved me. This was all his fault. It shakes me to my core, a sudden feeling I thought I would not be able to feel again. It rips though me, I hate him, I hate everything he was, all the underlining hate. Did he ever even love me? Did he really care for me? Were the tears that fell from his eyes at my death true? Or were they something he created to hide his guilt. He cannot be allowed to continue to lie, the truth must be known. He must be punished.

But I am still here, and I will probably be here forever. Aiden and Josh both believe that I am the most human of all of us. They are wrong. To be human you need to be real, to touch, and feel and share. I can never do any of those things again. I will never be human. Humanity id for those who will love, and care, be there when they're loved ones are unable to cope, stand up when they are pushed or taken advantage of. I am nothing, I cannot have a life, and cannot be human.

**End **

Authors Note: FINNALLY I am officially done this story study. It was great to write and I really enjoyed everyone's feed back. I'd still like to write some more Being Human fics, the hard part will be getting ideas, so if anyone has any I'd love to hear them.


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